by Lauren LaCourse (Blogger, WBBJJ.com)
I had an interesting conversation with one of my girlfriends last night. Boys, beware. It may be extremely uncomfortable for you, because I’m about to let out some of my “lady brains”. You are probably going to hear a bit more about the thought processes of the girl you roll with, than perhaps you wanted to know.
But let’s be real, you’ve always been curious…
I have a girlfriend from the gym that I train with, and hang out with, on a regular basis. Her name is Caitlin. Having her in the Combat Program of my academy is literally a breath of fresh air. Why? To put it bluntly, girl sweat is much more tolerable than “eau de garcon”. I love you boys, but it’s just nature.
Caitlin and I have been hanging out frequently, and since we share similar interests (MMA and Jiu Jitsu), we talk about the gym and training a lot. The discussion is usually about what we suck at, how we’re going to get better, and stupid mistakes that we’ve recently made. We also compare our various bumps, bruises and injuries (which we love to flaunt, agreeing, that they make us pretty badass).
Finally someone who understands me!
So the other night we decided, after a tough week of training, to go out for dinner. We met up with a couple of Caitlin’s friends, and began our usual chit chat. Naturally it did not take long before conversation about the gym started up (because when you practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, the gym takes over your life!!) and the discussion progressed. Caitlin’s friends were curious as to what it’s like to “roll” with guys, so the conversation migrated to the opposite sex.
Prior to this conversation, I’ve only had to answer these types of questions from my female family members. The amount of information I disclose about the opposite sex with my family, is pale in comparison to the amount I discuss with other girls my age.
Last night was no different. We went deep, and we went dark.
Caitlin and Lauren
I’m not ashamed to admit that rolling with males can sometimes be “interesting”, to say the least. It can sometimes be a tad bit awkward as well. Sometimes you may find yourself in “intimate” positions. There’s sweat, there’s heavy breathing, and there’s something extremely addictive about being able to let the most grisly parts of your nature come loose (and I mean the most grisly).
You would think that wrestling against someone attempting to hurt you, would be anything other than intoxicating. What is surprising however, is the ease at which our bodies are able to translate heightened adrenaline, into heightened curiosity (for lack of a better term).
I remember my first experience with this “curiosity”.
One evening, I was rolling with one of my teammates. I was struggling to better my position while he had been running the match. I managed to find an opportunity to escape from his side control and transition into bottom half guard. He pressed his weight on top of me, and moved his head to the side. I rolled, and he placed his head on the mat to base against my momentum. Now here we were, him on top of me, attempting to control my upper body by pinning my wrists; and the next thing I know, I’m turning my head to expose my neck.
My immediate thought was, “Why are you doing this?!” Then I realized it was a reaction that I’d had before, in a much, MUCH differently intimate situation…uggh. The very next moment my head was turned back, and I bridged to sweep into a different position, all the while cursing myself for having such an unprofessional moment.
But here is the deal guys, it happens. I know it happens for you boys too. Trust me, after my conversation last night, I’m not the only one who’s felt it (pun intended).
Typically I overlook things like this, and keep rolling like nothing had ever happened. After talking with Caitlin and her friends, I realized that I wasn’t the only one who had experienced this situation (in terms of the “animalistic” aspect of our sport). After chatting about it, I had found it riotously entertaining (and comforting) knowing that I was not the only one who had experienced such “momentary lapses of reasoning” which seemingly deviate from the professional path.
I’m normal! You are normal! We’re all normal! Yay!
Like I said it’s bound to happen, and through my rolling I’ve discovered a few things.
1) Yes, it’s normal to have these thoughts.
2) Yes, it’s possible to have them about those you are not attracted to (although it can be unsettling).
3) No, it doesn’t happen every time (it’s more rare than frequent).
4) But yes, when it does it’s one hundred percent OK.
As long as you follow a few rules…
A) It’s brief, and you make sure to maintain your professionalism.
B) You do not AT ANY TIME act on these thoughts.
C) You NEVER mention these urges to the person (although you boys unfortunately sometimes can’t hide it; try your best).
D) You ladies understand that sometimes, by the nature of the situation, that certain things can’t be hidden (believe me, the poor guy is already embarrassed as it is).
If you follow these rules, situations like these will easily pass into the realm of “things you can laugh about with your cohorts over a good meal”, and maybe even a few drinks.
Good luck! And keep on rollin’.
This blog post was written by Lauren LaCourse
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